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In the past seven and a half years in Chicago I have exposure to so many uncomfortable experiences. All those experiences were built the emotions and pleasures inside my soul. I have been trying to fit into American life style but I couldn't. I almost forgot where I came from. I thought I could be an American by the way I act and the way I spend my life here. It was very scary thought. I never realized that I couldn't change my life to be an American just because I moved here. Moreover, deep down inside my mind I was always fighting, about what I am or what I am going to be. So after the first roll of film that I shot at the Thai temple I realized that something was going to be wrong if I did not study them. Because the more I studied them, the more I understood myself. I am one of the "Alien Native" here. I speak little English, I eat little American food and I do not even knows what American culture is. The good way to make my life go on is that I have to know myself. From the first project before becoming to this thesis I concentrated on only the elements of photograph. I tried to focus on beautiful colors, a perfect composition but I didn't know I started something very serious. The content of this thesis was growing more and more by my going back to the Thais place and talking to them or even helping them do some routine activities. |
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